My Husband Got Hit by A Semi Today

I really am not joking. He is ok but yes he was indeed hit by a semi. I got a call early this morning FROM my hubby. He had been driving to work. Right before he gets to his job there is an intersection. His light was green so he kept going. There was a mini van to the left of him. All of the sudden the mini van guns it. My husband was thinking to himself "What is your hurry?" when he saw the grill of a semi right up by his window. He then gunned it thinking he was dead and the semi got the back of our little yellow neon. It knocked him a few feet. The semi had hit his brakes but it was too late.

According to the semi driver he was changing his clock and when he looked up he was going through the red light. He was driving a gas truck. This story could be SO much worse. My hubby is ok and honestly the damage on our car is shockingly small compared to the fact that he was HIT BY A SEMI!

Here are pics and I am publicly thanking God for protecting my husband today!

It sort of buckles out here a bit

I also have my 3 month follow up tomorrow. Top that off with the fact that it is my two older daughters' birthdays tomorrow and it's a busy week, spring break or not. Mikayla will be 10 and yes, I will have a teenager tomorrow. Tomorrow Lexi is 13 years old. Eeek. Seriously. Too many hormones around this house. Anyway I'll post pics later of their birthday. We opened gifts tonight since we'll be on the road tomorrow. My appointment is 3 hours away. We plan on going somewhere up there for their birthday though and maybe getting a hotel. We'll see about all that. I'm not quite sure yet. It's only Monday yet I feel like my spring break is going by too fast. haha

Prayers that I have a good follow up are appreciated!!! I feel pretty good though so I just hope it will be a great trip. Now, off to find the hubby whom I keep telling, is lucky not to be road kill today.

I Passed, Spring Break and the Hubbies Birthday

In order of occurrence that is! Yesterday I had a HUGE health proficiency to do. You can read all about it at my other blog Nothing Off Limits. It was hard to say the least, and been a very stressful week. I passed though and I am so happy. I feel like maybe I CAN do this. Seriously I go through doubts all the time. It's really very very difficult. I realize now pretty much all the nurses going through nursing school go through the same thing. We all get nervous from time to time. It gets very difficult and we just don't understand how we'll do it.

The great thing is that immediately after my proficiency, I was on spring break. I am off for a week!!! I am so excited. I slept in today. It feels pretty good!

It is also my hubby's birthday today. I wanted to wish him a very happy birthday. I love you sweetie!!!!

Spring Break!

The sickness passed, everyone is healthy again thank goodness. Tomorrow I have a huge proficiency in health, which I am currently studying for, then it's spring break for me. I am so anxious. I seriously need this break. I will savor each day.

My next 3 month follow up is the 16th. I'll be seeing my doc and getting the very important checkup that tells me that nasty cancer is still gone. Two years and going strong folks! Pray that nasty disease stays far away from me.

Like I have said before, cancer is a bully and no matter what I refuse to let it scare me anymore. It took my dad, it tried to take me and basically Gabbi too. You could say I have a personal vendetta against cancer, but then again, which one of us doesn't? I just happen to be in training now to fight it. LOL Yep. Nursing school!!

My Whole Family is Sick

So far the only two not throwing up are me and Angelina. Gabbi went back to daycare today after not puking all day yesterday. I thought she was better, though not eating much. She then started puking at daycare of course. What to do?

My husband picked her up, brought her home and I got home after my class. By supper time no one was feeling great. Right after supper the hubby starting throwing up, then immediately following my oldest daughter got sick. Now another daughter is sick. It's picking us off one by one!!

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I have a Pathophysiology test (which I am finding difficult to study for tonight!) and then I have a 3 hour lab. I practice for my Health Assessment proficiency. I have to know how to do a full cardiac, respiratory and abdominal exam including a Basic Exam. I have to know it all in order from start to finish. I need to go to this lab. I am kind of freaked out about the proficiency. It's so insane.

Now here's to hoping I do not catch this bug!!

A Bad Dream, Sort Of

It was a bad dream. There is no doubt. However, I felt like I saw my dad again....so really, I will take it. It was so strange. Thinking about it today made me start to feel emotional in class so I had to push it out of my head.

Here is the dream: I was in a room with my dad. He was lying in bed. I don't know why I couldn't dream him standing and healthy, but he was in bed. However he didn't look sick. He was just in bed. I knew though that he was dead. I didn't want to tell him. I was so sad and we were just chatting then I leaned close and whispered in his ear "Did you know that you're dead?" He looked at me sad, like he did but wished he didn't have to tell me. He seemed so sad because he didn't want to hurt his girls. It's like I knew this. He didn't want to say yes, not because HE was scared but he was worried about us. Not just me. In my dream I clearly knew. I felt it. He was worried about his girls. I started crying and told him it was true. I kept saying "You're dead dad. You died. You died."

Then, that's all I remember. Now I'm emotional again. I love you dad.

How Did You First Notice It?

This is probably the most commonly asked questioned I get regarding my cancer. As soon as someone finds out I had it they want to know what I noticed to make me suspect I had it. There is the typical list of symptoms for Hodgkin's Disease but I am here to tell you, I didn't have many of those. Let's give MY list:

1. Pressure in my throat. First thing I noticed and ironically I remember the very FIRST time I felt it. I felt this weird pressure in my chest, not a pain. It moved up toward the bottom of my neck. I distinctly remember it. I was driving and I thought, this is a weird sensation. Maybe I have cancer. Then I laughed it off, because it was utterly ridiculous.

2. More pressure in my neck. I felt like someone had their thumbs jammed onto both sides of my neck 24/7. This was the worst symptom for me. I hated it. I felt like I wanted to cough up a tennis ball. Just get it OUT. This was terrible. I complained a lot. I had thyroid sonograms every 3 months because they blamed my thyroid. I do have thyroid nodules. 4 to be exact. The biggest one you can slightly see. Yeah...I know. I hate it. Along with these I got some rashes on my eyelids, supposedly eczema, swelling eyelids in the mornings too.

3. I started wheezing a little bit, or crackling when I breathed. My hubby would tickle me down on the floor and I would start wheezing like I had a dust allergy or something. I would cough and my throat would feel itchy.

4. Whenever my hubby hugged me or if I leaned against something with my chest area it would trigger me to cough, sometimes a lot.

5. Eventually the wheezing got worse and I had shortness of breath. I saw an Ear, Nose and Throat doc who put me on Singular and Allegra and it actually helped me to breath at night.

6. The wheezing and breathing got much worse around the time we were moving and it would be around the time I got pregnant too. The symptoms were awful but I dealt with them before. By this time I was pale, weak and tired. I had a hard time walking up and down the stairs. It was awful packing and trying to move. Sweeping and vacuuming, I felt so lazy. I felt like I couldn't do anything. My sister helped me and I was wondering how she had so much energy. It gets depleted at such a slow rate that you get used to it. You don't realize how much different it is.

7. I coughed up flecks of blood in my phlegm. I really KNEW something was terribly wrong. Kept telling myself I had a chest infection or it was from coughing so hard.

8. Had to sleep sitting upright. Not 2 pillows, not 3, but 5. I had to or I could NOT breathe at all. I would choke and gasp wheezing all night. I had no faith in the docs anymore. My symptoms started in 2004 and this was 2007. All I heard was "Your thyroid isn't big enough to be causing these symptoms, come back in 3 months. Or you have allergies...or it might be asthma. I even had a CT of my sinuses for crying out loud. I had thyroid tests, scans and swallowed a camera TWICE and two thyroid biopsies which involve fine long needles in your neck. Not fun.

9. I did get a low grade fever ONE time but that was shortly before diagnosis. I also got to the point where I could not lift my arms to even put my hair up because it choked me and literally cut off my circulation. My face turned red, my veins bulged out and just felt like someone was choking me.

I keep thinking of more.....they keep coming to me....but you get the idea here. It was bad.

Finally I got an MRI. I did this 2 weeks after I knew I was pregnant. Within a day or two they told me I needed to see the oncologist and the next day I was having major biopsy surgery. That was May 4 2007. I had my first chemo May 22, 2007. (Those weeks were the longest of my life. I felt like I was dying and I was. The docs didn't expect me to last 3 weeks.) Never could understand how they could tell me "You can't wait for chemo until your second trimester. You won't last 3 weeks." Then I still wait about 2 from the time they said that. Hmmm I knew I had cancer at 7 weeks....and my first chemo I was 10 weeks along. So do the math. My last chemo was October 23 2007. I had my baby girl on November 17th 2007. My first radiation was Dec 3, 2007. My last was sometime in January. I actually forget ONE date! haha Then my clear scan was February 8th, 2008. I am just 2 years in remission.

Some people are planning exotic or fun trips for their spring break. I just scheduled my oncology follow up for spring break. That way I don't miss class. It's technically overdue. I have to fit these into my schedule but it's so hard yet very important! It's going to be odd being the patient again after practicing as the nurse these past couple of months. I need pics for you guys in my lab coat!! haha

I am praying for a good follow up and appreciate your prayers for the same.

On a sad side note, Gabbi has started throwing up. Definitely nothing to do with the milk allergy this time. My baby girl has a tummy ache. :(


EDIT* Just noticed that one of the ads on my sidebar for Spott says "free video" and it's a half naked chick. Ummmmm whoa. I didn't think ads like that came through Spott? I don't approve those...they rotate on their own.

Fortune Cookie Comments?

These past few weeks I have noticed some comments I get on this blog leave me a little confused. I think someone is leaving words of wisdom on my posts and not direct responses to what I post. If you post "You can heal your life" on a post about too much homework, well....I really don't get that. I hesitate approving that comment. Just what are you talking about? I have gotten a few lately. Sometimes they don't match what I write at all. I have decided to call them fortune cookie comments since they are more like your thought for the day rather than a reply to what I write.

By the way, I prefer you to actually READ what I write. If not? Please, just don't comment with spam or something to promote what you're selling. Anyway, after a series of comments that resembled a fortune I had to say something. Do you get these too on your blogs?

What IS a Lazy Sunday?

I'll be so glad when summer rolls around and I can have some again. Then again, I may not want to just sit around and be lazy. I have big plans. I want to take my girls to the zoo and maybe travel a bit if it's even remotely possible. I need to enjoy the time I have off while I still can. I am pretty excited about it.

I am so anxious about warm weather!!! I am really looking forward to like 50 to 60 degree days. I am hoping small for now. I literally cannot wait. Until then I have to go study! Have a great Sunday all and wish me luck. My clinicals start in 2 weeks. I was just told I will be on the surgical floor! I am really excited to start. I am lucky to have a lot of great teachers and friends at this school.

Killer Whales and Homework

No, homework and killers whales don't have anything to do with each other. However, I have a ton of homework to do these days and I just read a story about a killer whale online.

First of all, the killer whale story. I read that a trainer was killed by a killer whale at Sea World. I think it happened today. The thing is this whale has killed twice before. Admittedly the second time was more the fault of the individual. Apparently a man snuck into the the tank at night after the park closed for a swim. You can guess the rest.

The first kill was a part time trainer. She was a young woman. I don't have the details on that one. The woman killed this time was a very experienced 40 year old trainer who got too close and from what I can tell, eye witness say the whale jumped out of the water, grabbed her in his jaws and shook her violently. I don't know more than that.

Why was this whale allowed to continue to be around people with the history it had? I don't understand. I am not saying to kill the animal. I am not saying to do anything other than to leave it alone! Obviously it doesn't mix with people. If an experienced trainer can have something like this happen then maybe it's telling us something? I will be the first to say I love marine life. I love sharks and the whole ocean thing. It's fascinating. I have been to see world and watched the killer whales. I guess people SAW this happen today. I can only imagine how traumatic it would be.

Now I better get back to my homework. Those are just my thoughts for the day! :)

2 Year Survivor!

Honestly I have been so busy with school, that even though I have been looking forward to it, the day came and went and I didn't even think about it. How did I do that? I don't know! It is a milestone to be sure. I have been in remission officially since February 8th, 2008. I am thankful for every day and every breath. I am very thankful that I am healthy and accomplishing my dreams and hitting those goals.

I still miss my dad and wish he could be here. I wish he had kicked cancer's butt too. Here's to you dad. I love you.

So Busy With Homework!

I have THREE tests this week so my time is very limited. I am reading those blogs I follow but not able to post as much this week. I appreciate those who still stop by and give me a comment or two. It brightens my day to hear from you all. I'll put up several posts after my tests are done. Until then, please enjoy the singing styles of my 10 year old nephew Cameron.

Netflix and a Bad Waitress!

I love Netflix. I really do. A few years ago we decided to just do it, since I am horrible about returning movies. We got on the plan where you get two at a time. It works out great and yes I forget to send them back sometimes for a month. This isn't a big deal, except that then I don't get my next movie for awhile.

So the hubby and I started watching some TV show that is a regular series on showtime. You can watch movies from their website in real time on your computer, or connect it to your xbox and watch it from there too. We hook it up to the xbox. We have gotten into some series that we are hooked on now. Jason and I really do not watch a lot of regular TV. If we watch anything it's usually a movie, so this is nice! The problem is I no longer have time to watch the series with school. I am always so busy. The series? Dexter. Yes we are totally in love with it. I realize it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea but I love odd, crazy, dark things when it comes to movies. I like scary movies. This isn't so much scary as really creepy. It's good though. (To me!)

Yesterday Lexi (my oldest) went to a birthday party with a friend. This group of girls went to a hair place where they did hair and "light" makeup. They then went to see a movie. We took my mom out to eat at a great place with some awesome food and all my remaining 3 ladies had a great time. Gabbi was an angel. There was an incident that was kind of shocking/funny.

When we got into the restaurant the waitress brought us our menus and one blob of homemade play-dough with a single crayon stuck upward in it. I thought it unusual but let Gabbi play with the crayon and taught her to sort of squish the play-dough. She did ok but then tried to take a bite of it so I took it away. Even if it is nontoxic, number one it's GROSS, number two I don't know the ingredients and she has a milk allergy.

Anyway so the waitress had also left all of our menus in a disorganized pile on our table. We separated the drink menus from the regular menus and I handed them out. I gave my girls their menus. I had asked for a high chair but I noticed the waitress was walking around doing other things. I sat Gabbi in a regular chair and waited.

The waitress came back and asked how we were and I told her I needed that high chair. She just stated "OH!" Then she went to get it. A while later she came back with some more blobs of play-dough and handed one to my older daughters then I told her "Well this one liked it(talking about Gabbi), but she started to eat it so I took it away." The waitress then proceeded to smile and say "Ooooh that's nice" while handing her a brand new blob to play with. Seriously. I looked very confused and looked up, eyes locking with the family at the table next to us. They were all looking at me and looking at the waitress like she was seriously mentally absent. haha The mother at the next table smiled and kind of winked at me as my mouth hung open. I knew this waitress mentally was not in the room. She was thinking about something else and her mind was definitely not on her job. There is no way she actually heard what I said. If she did then she shouldn't be working as a waitress. Anyway I just took away the play-dough instantly and kind of laughed it off. The family at the other table seemed to be cracking up about it as much as we were.

Would you have said something to the waitress? I just took it away from her and figured it wasn't worth wasting my breath.

Sleep? What's That?

I am always tired but I have so much to do. Even when I want to go to bed early I can't. I have things to get done! I want to take a nap, but can't do that either. I have a full schedule these days. It will make graduation day that much more sweet! I am sleepy though. I am finishing up one thing then heading to bed.

Yes, you say "You're up writing a blog post? Isn't that a time waster?" Yes it is. But I am multi tasking at the moment. I wouldn't be up if I didn't have something else I was doing. I never do get to bed early and never have. It's a terrible habit but now that I want to, I can't!

One good note, I got my appointment rescheduled. I go in on the 16th of March which is during spring break for me so I don't have to worry about missing class. The bad news is that is my two older daughters birthdays. (If you aren't familiar with my blog or my family then this is news to you but yes they share the same birthday 3 years apart. Amazingly people ask if I planned that. For those that wanted to ask, the answer is NO! haha)

Anyway I feel bad because this will be an all day thing. I have to see an Endocrinologist for my thyroid followed up with my Oncology visit. Doctors just love me. I keep them in business. I think when we get to the endocrine section in my classes at school we may have to palpate the thyroid. I am not sure but I am assuming that would be part of an assessment. I have a thyroid nodule that you can absolutely feel when palpating. Actually, you can see it if you look close. (I hate it.) I could be a good learning tool for my classmates. haha

Goodnight bloggy friends!!

Good Morning World

That sounds like a really happy, chipper intro but honestly I am just thinking of an episode of Spongebob. Yes, he wakes up, throws the covers off and says "Good morning world and all who inhabit it!" This is not how I feel this morning however. I am tired! I have a lot of things to do including get ready for a class today. I love Wednesdays because my class isn't until 1. I leave early though and study a little at school. This morning I wish I could crawl back under the covers and forget the world. That sounds pretty nice right about now.

Things have been going well. I did get a call from my oncologist's office. They need to reschedule my follow up appointment. Actually I have been stressed because I haven't known how I will make them. I have class every single day. I can't miss a day. There is just too much work to be done. I would miss so much material. So it would set me back a lot. I am hoping to reschedule for during my spring break. The appointment will be a good month late though. That's not good but I don't know what else to do. It's going to be difficult balancing those appointments since they are full day things. I have to do it however. Those checkups are very important!

Well I'm off to get ready. Wishing everyone a great day!

Got a Letter Today

I was asked to be a part of the National English Honor Society from my last college! I don't know that I can do it, since I no longer go there, but they DID send me the letter. They said that in recognition of my academic achievements they are extending an invitation for me to join. It says it honors students like ME (haha) who have demonstrated excellence in both English and overall scholarship. I have always gotten A's in my English classes. MOST other ones but no I am not perfect. I haven't gotten all A's. However I am very honored about this. It's pretty cool. I'll hold on to this letter regardless of what I choose to do.

Good Morning!

My goofy girl loves her sunglasses, even upside down.

I am up and thinking of getting ready for school. It's so cold here that I really don't want to move. It's been rainy this week. Icy and rainy. School was canceled for my kiddos yesterday. However I still had to take the drive to school regardless. I have a feeling school will never be canceled for me. My college is a private one with dorms. A lot of students live there and some students work at the hospital connected to it. Since I chose health care, well, people get sick regardless of bad weather. We may as well get used to that now. People will need our care whether the roads are bad or not!

I made it to school in one piece yesterday thankfully. The freezing rain did make traveling a little risky. The downed power lines up and down the roads were scary too. On my way home I saw the utility crews fixing the lines. I know a lot of people were out of power around here.

Other than that? After today I will have finished my very first week of Nursing School. I am not totally terrified....yet. I am partially terrified. I already have a lot to do. I have to take quizzes in some classes based on stuff I am to read PRIOR to class. I do that pretty much on my own online then we discuss that material in class. This is one way to make sure you read your assignment and know it. We have to really KNOW our material. We can't just memorize or hope. Our jobs could mean a life, so we learn it, we know it, we remember it. That's the goal. It's definitely stressful but I want to do this. The only trouble is December of 2011 is so far away. (Graduation for me)

We also had a birthday on January 19th. My Angelina turned 8!! She's pretty excited. I love how at this age, they check the mirror to see if they are any taller. Yes my girls all did that! Gabbi is back in daycare and doing well. She did cry when I left the other day. That's really really hard for me!

Winding Down and a Holiday Party

It's almost that time. Classes start on Monday. It's everything I have been working for since 2005. It's everything that I put on hold while I was sick. This is it! I will begin nursing classes and I am ready. I am nervous. I am scared, but I have learned this is probably a wise feeling. I haven't met a nursing student yet who didn't have a mild breakdown, or two (or three). So I am prepared.

I hated having to take a break for so long but there was no way I could do anything in 2007. I had been sick for quite some time without knowing what was wrong. I took a yoga class in 2005 and 2006 and wondered why some positions were so hard to twist my neck into. Literally it would cut off my air supply. I would choke. I had to tell the teacher there were just some positions I couldn't do. Of course we blamed it on thyroid at that time.

By 2007 I was honestly barely standing. I was so tired and weak. I could hardly breathe through the panting and wheezing. Then I was bedridden, for a long time. I finished up my classes though in 2007. The only thing I didn't do was take my Algebra final. I had pushed through it all but knew I couldn't study for or make it through that test. I had been told I most likely had Hodgkin's Lymphoma but they were still waiting for the official diagnosis. I had barely known for 2 weeks I was pregnant. My life was a whirlwind. So my teacher let me just keep the A I had in the class without taking the final. I'll never forget it and wish I could tell her now what that meant to me.

I didn't go back to school until the summer of 2009. I had been accepted into the Nursing College and needed a few more prereqs. They told me when I started my course load in the fall they thought it was too much. I told them I had to do it. I did! Now everything I have worked for is here. I got my books. I worked it all out it seems at this point. So I could use prayers and some good luck!

Fight the Good Fight

That's how I think of it. Technically I believe that applies to faith but hey, it takes that to get through a cancer diagnosis right? I have had the pleasure of coming across so many people on the Internet, after starting this blog, who have fought that fight. I have seen some have it worse than others.

I wonder how I got a cancer that was so rare, yet for the most part very treatable. Note that not everyone is easily treated. I have met far too many people who the treatment did NOT work for and it recurred once or many times. Stem cell transplants, more chemo and all of that is not easy. It's hard. And it's scary. It's so scary not knowing what the next day will bring. It's hard not knowing if it's going to come back. It's hard to not know if you should be planning for your future.

I finally let go of those fears because they did me no good whatsoever. By giving into those fears cancer continued to steal my life. I won't let it. Even if it came back and took me I refuse to fear it. It stole my dad from me. I won't let it get to me. Yes I look at cancer as an enemy to fight. I will fight it. I won't just fight my own fight either. I am going to be a nurse so I can fight it. It's kind of like a solider going into war to fight the terrorist. My enemy just happens to be a disease.

Trying For Various Scholarships

Found this one, that apparently you can all vote on. I had to pick my favorite picture that I have taken and that's that. Now I wait. So if you want to vote for my pic and help me out, go here. Thanks!!!

My Favorite Photo (I've Ever Taken) 2 Brickfish

The Many Ribbons of Cancer

On Facebook tonight I posted a status update that I saw on a friend's status. It told me to list those I know including myself, that are suffering or have suffered from a specific type of cancer. You put that person's name, their cancer type and ribbon color. It's a way to promote awareness. I realized how many ribbons there really are out there.

I began searching and found a page that I love! It lists ribbons I frankly didn't even know existed. I cannot believe how many causes there are out there. But if you are looking for a ribbon color for a specific type of cancer here are a few and a link to the site I found.


Orange:

Leukemia, hunger, kidney cancer, racial tolerance and cultural diversity, Underage drinking, etc. There are so many things that the orange ribbon can stand for. I had no idea.

Green: depression, bipolar disorder, leukemia, kidney cancer or disease, non-hodgkin's lymphoma etc.

Purple:

Pancreatic cancer, domestic violence, cancer survivor (didn't know that), Chron's Disease, etc. So many I didn't know!

Violet: Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I think it may stand for more. However on this site it says Lavender and gives Hodgkin's and other. Technically Hodgkin's is a violet ribbon. The others MAY be lavender, not that there is a lot of difference but I am not going to list anything else because I don't want to be wrong!

The link to the site with an extensive list is here: http://www.craftsnscraps.com/jewelry/ribbons.html